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Dungeons and Dragons with Cats

My Cats Play D&D:

Inky is the Dungeon Master (DM). He passed away a year ago, but he still calls the shots. His motto is, "Why roll the dice when you can roll in the dice."

Spock plays a high elf mage. Even though he doesn't have any teeth, he is ultra-dignified. They made him party leader because he isn't afraid of the vacuum.

Conan plays a Drow assassin. All you see are two yellow eyes, and by then, it's too late.

Thufir plays a half-orc barbarian in a tuxedo. He claims it doesn't matter if he looks over the DM screen because barbarians can't read. Can rage in circles for 1000 rounds before fatigue sets in.

I have a transcript of their last game:

Inky the DM: Your human is putting a new plastic bag into the trash can. What do you do?

Conan the Assasin: I hide in shadows.

Thufir the Barbarian: I attack the bag!

Spock the Mage: This should be interesting. (Yawns and licks his paw)

Inky the DM: (makes a roll behind DM screen) Conan, you think you are hidden. Spock, you are holding action. Thufir, roll your attacks.

Thufir the Barbarian: Claw, claw, bite, rake. (makes a bunch of rolls)

Inky the DM: They all hit.

Thufir the Barbarian: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spock the Mage: Dude, it's a plastic bag.

Thufir the Barbarian: But I have the rend feat!

Conan the Assassin: (whispering from shadows) All cats have rend. Even toothless ones. (looks at Spock)

Spock the Mage: Bite me.

Conan the Assassin: (snickers)

Spock the Mage: Next time you take damage, I am not licking your wounds.

Conan the Assassin: Yeah right. You'll lick anything.

Thufir the Barbarian: (rolls more dice) I did 58 points of damage! YES!!!

Inky the DM: The bag dies.

Conan the Assassin: Sneak attack! (pounces on Thufir)

Spock the Mage: (pounces on what's left of the bag)

Inky the DM: Your human sighs and gets another bag. What do you do?

Spock the Mage: I'm out of spell points. We should rest.

Thufir the Barbarian: But you didn't do anything. How can you be out of spell points?

Spock the Mage: I kept casting identify on a spot on the ceiling until I ran out of spell points.

Conan the Assassin: Why?

Spock the Mage: I thought it was a bug.

Conan the Assassin: Bug! Where!

Thufir the Barbarian: I attack the new plastic bag!!!


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